Very Punny

Where would we be without work being fun? Bored.

The Internet has brought us many things both positive and negative. On the plus side, a plethera of good, clean jokes:

-- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
-- Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
-- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
-- To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
-- The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
-- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
-- The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
-- The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
-- A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
-- A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
-- A will is a dead giveaway.
-- A backward poet writes inverse.
-- A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
-- With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
-- A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in linoleum blownapart.
-- A calendar's days are numbered.
-- A boiled egg is hard to beat.
-- If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
-- When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
-- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis